INT. ALIEN CAVE - NIGHT

Player sits alone in a dark, wet cave. Shivering. In the distance, the BELLOWS of creatures whose size and power are inconceivable rip across the purplish sky.

PLAYER
Hey... Gemma? Be honest. On a scale from “Sunday picnic”
to “definitely getting eaten,” how doomed are we right now?

A RING in Player’s earpiece from the helmet they’re wearing.

GEMMA (V.O.)
Good news! Kumas cannot ingest metal. Odds of my demise
by consumption are 0%. I’d sooner perish when the suit loses
power.

PLAYER
And me???

GEMMA (V.O.)
While they are carnivores, kumas are too large to fit in this
cave. Odds of your demise by consumption are 5%.

PLAYER
Awesome...

GEMMA (V.O.)
But without a water chip, life expectancy is a maximum of
5 days.

PLAYER

Got anymore good news?

GEMMA (V.O.)
Your suit’s oxygen supply is at a critical 18%. Odds of
your demise by asphyxiation before 5 days is 100%.

Player GROANS.

PLAYER
Terrific.

A shadow creeps in. Its silhouette resembles a bear. Player tenses up.

PLAYER
How many kumas are outside this cave right now?

GEMMA (V.O.)
Calculating.

A CREATURE peeks inside. With its pink fur, large eyes and little nose, it is absolutely adorable, a giant teddy bear.

PLAYER
Hey there... Might wanna scram. Flesh-eating beasts’re
close by.

The creature sticks its paw inside, motions for Player to come to it.

PLAYER (CONT’D)
I mean it, buddy. Scram!

Player starts to kick at it, but then the teddy looks in the cave with big sad eyes. They SIGH.

PLAYER (CONT’D)
Here, go fetch.

They pick up a rock and throw it as hard as they can. It hits the creature in the eye. It runs off CRYING.

PLAYER (CONT’D)
Gemma? Those calculations sure are taking
a long time.

GEMMA (V.O.)
When you’re programmed to know everything about
the universe and process live information, calculations
can take a while.

The THUMP of heavy footsteps, getting too close...

PLAYER
Well... calculate faster.

GEMMA (V.O.)
Can’t rush greatness, my friend.

Player looks ticked off.

PLAYER
You just “my friend” me?!

GEMMA (V.O.)
You coded me to be warm and affirming.

PLAYER
You’ve hardly been warm or affirming!

GEMMA (V.O.)
If you’re unsatisfied with my personality, you can
reset my settings at the Lab.

A shadow cloaks Player, thick as night.

GEMMA (V.O.)
Providing you survive the kuma.

PLAYER
The WHAT?!

The pink teddy returns, much larger and pissed off. It peeks in the cave as Player crawls as far as they can from it. One look at Player sets it off. Trying to force its snout in the cave, it CHOMPS at Player. Countless kumas crowd around, trying to squeeze in. Baring teeth that could chew steel like bubblegum.

GEMMA (V.O.)
Calculations complete. 200 kumas are outside
this cave. 203. 210. 224.

PLAYER
Gemma? How likely am I to be eaten now?!

The kumas start reaching in, their claw the size of a person. Player narrowly dodges each swipe and poke. Then the cave walls begin to CRACK, the ceiling coming down in chunks. The cave isn’t collapsing. Something is RIPPING it open like a can of pringles.

GEMMA (V.O.)
Odds of death by consumption has risen to 97%.

PLAYER
3%. Not... impossible odds. 4.

GEMMA (V.O.)
Nothing is impossible, [Player]. Except survival if
you’re on this planet when the power runs out.

PLAYER
Thanks for the reminder. Next question. How do
I NOT get eaten by a kuma?!

GEMMA (V.O.)
Kumas are allergic to honey. If you found a jar of
honey large enough...

PLAYER
Any other ideas???

GEMMA (V.O.)
Kumas love hugs. If you hug one aggressively enough,
they’ll mistake you for one of their own.

Player stares at the ferocious thing tearing into the cave.

PLAYER
You want me to hug that?!

GEMMA (V.O.)
You don’t have to. But then your odds of survival
drop to 0%.

Player stares up at the ceiling just as it comes off. A giant kuma, MAMA stares at them with glowing red eyes. Player takes in a deep breath, closes their eyes and stretches their arms out as wide as they can as if to hug. MAMA looks taken aback, suspicious even. She picks Player up, dangles him over her snout. Murder in her eyes. Player gulps. Waiting, anticipating...

Mama brushes her furry cheek along Player’s body. All 300 kumas join in on the hug. Drenched in fear, Player is nearly squished, but survives. They hug back. The kumas are all smiles, their eyes turning to a normal brown.

Mama sits Player down outside the cave. The kumas start moving north. Player stays put.

PLAYER
Sweet, baby Jesus. Can’t believe that worked.

GEMMA (V.O.)
Would I ever steer you wrong?

PLAYER
Heh. Thanks, Gemma.

GEMMA (V.O.)
Anytime, my friend.

PLAYER
Now... how am I gonna charge my suit?

Mama looks back at Player.